Where the heck am I!
by Micaityl
Summary: A black hole swallows up the whole Gintama cast and sends them to the Durarara universe. Everyone forgot about Edo and went on like they have lived in Ikebukuro their whole life. Except for Gin. He remembers almost everything and goes on a quest to help them regain their memories and get back to Edo. But, events prevent regaining their memories and they're get slashed one by one...
1. Intro

**Introduction: I'm in a different dimension?**

**'I'm falling. But where?' thought Gin.**

I woke up in the middle of a park. "Huh? Where am I?" I looked around. There were buildings. But they were not the buildings I'd normally see in Edo. I wasn't in my usual uniform. I was wearing a white shirt with a pair of blue jeans. "What type of prank is this? Kagura! I know its you. Come on out!" I said. She wasn't in sight. Then I saw some guy in a bartender suit. I walked to him. I asked the guy "Hey dude. Where am I?" The guy said "In Ikebukuro. Who are you?"

"My mom said to never give my name to stragers."

"WHAT TYPE OF ANSWER IS THAT!"

The guy picked up a tree.

"Hmm. Are you a alien like Kagura?"

Then he whacked me with the tree, and I flew right into a mailbox.

"Ow! What the heck was is problem?"

I got up. I was angry. So looked for my sword, but it wasn't there. "WHAT! Who stole my sword!" Then a girl on a motorcycle went near by the street. "Who are you?" Then she texted on some thing:

**Sir. Are you okay?**

"I dunno. Do you know what's going on? Where's my sword. Why am I not in Edo?"

**Uh, you don't seem okay. **

**I know a doctor.**

**I'll ask him to check you**

**for memory loss.**

"Screw that I'm going home. Wait is there a store called Odd Jobs Gin here?"

**Yeah. The owner is**

**a hardhead. **

**Are you him?**

"Yeah. Are there co-workers called Kagura and Shinpachi there?"

**Well yeah. Kagura**

**is like Shizuo, the**

**guy who threw you.**

"Yeah. That's my place. Is Shizuo a alien?"

**What! No! I hope not!**

**I'll check!**

She drove off. She was sexy, but why does she have a helmet?

**TarouTanaka has joined the chat. ~**

**TarouTanaka: Hey guys.**

**Setton: Hello.**

**Kanra: Did you know there was a Odd Job place in Ikerebuto?**

**TarouTanka: Really? **

**Setton: Yeah. Earlier today I saw the owner. He was thrown by Shizuo.**

**Kanra: Has he lost his marbles?**

Gin was in front of the Odd jobs. Gin said "I'm here." He knocked on the door. Then he realized something that he should've realized before. "I'M STUCK IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION!"

**Micaityl: Sorry about the short Introduction. Most of this story is going to be in Gin's point of view, but I might use other characters' points of view too.**

**Next Chapters Title: Wait, Kagura and Shinpachi are going to school?**

_**Note: I have a poll on my page asking about which one of the stories I've written/am writing that you like best. Please vote!**_


	2. Wait, what?

**What? Kagura and Shinpachi are going to school?**

**...**

**Kanra: Hey guys I invited someone knew to the chat.**

**Setton: Awesome.**

**TarouTanaka: Who is it?**

**Kanra: He's coming.**

**~Joker has joined the chat~**

**Setton: Hey!**

**TarouTanaka: Hello.**

**Kanra: Hi noobie!**

**Joker: I'm not a noob.**

**TarouTanaka: Don't worry.**

**TarouTanaka: He called me that too.**

I got to my bed. I thought "Hmmm. Still why am I here? Where are the aliens? And who is that sexy chick on the black motorcycle?" Then I fell asleep.

The next morning I saw Kagura and Shinpachi getting in uniform. I asked "Why are you getting in uniform?"

Shinpachi said " We're going to school."

"WHAAT!"

"Well me and Kagura are teens that work here so yeah we need to go to school."

"Do I go!?"

"No you're 23."

"Wait a mintue. In Edo there's no school. Plus Kagura aren't you a alien? Where's Sadaharu?"

Kagura said "You're mean. I have only monsterous stregth." They both left me. Then a white dog apporched me. I screamed "No! Don't eat me!" Then I noticed that Sadaharu as only 1-2 feet tall. He was a Saint Bernard that was all white. "You can't bite my head. You're a small little pupp-" Then he bit my hand.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!"

Later that day at 4:50 PM after Kagura and Shinpachi came back with two other teenagers came. One had black hair and one had blonde. All of the kids started to study at my desk. "What are you doing?" I asked.

Shinpachi yelled "We're studying for a project! Isn't that obvious?" The two other teenagers snickered.

"Don't make too much noise. My favorite soap opera is on." I sat down on the couch as Kagura started to pet Sadaharu.

"Hm... are you hungry Sadaharu?" Kagura asked Saduharu as chewed on a stick of pickledseaweed. Sadaharu barked. "Ok! I'll fill up your bowl!" Kagura looked for dog food. "There's no food left..." She pulled some chicken out of the oven and placed it in front of Sadaharu. Sadaharu gobbled it down.

"Ahh! Kagura, that was our dinner!" Shinpachi yelled.

"It's okay, I'll go find a pizza." Kagura put on a jacket and walked out the door with her umbrella.

"It's not raining outside, so you don't need- WAIT A MINUTE! Wait up, you can't go out on the streets alone. There are color gangs out there!" Shinpachi ran after her, leaving the two teenagers at the table.

There was an akward silence that filled the room, until the boys started whispering. Then they came up in front of me after a minute.

The yellow hair person asked straight out " Are you in the Dollars?" The black haired kid yelled "You just don't ask that in front of a grown man like that Masaomi!"

I asked "The Dollars? What is that? A type of sports team?"

The kid named Masaomi said "Oh. He's not. Lets go!" Masaomi dragged the other kid out he door. "Why did they even come here?"

Shinpachi and Kagura suddenly came back. "We've got pizza!" Kagura said as she ate a slice while holding the box. Shinpachi screamed when he realized the other two had left.

"Why di they even come here!" Shinpachi yelled. I ignored him and noticed a phone next to me. I thought "Who's phone is that?"

"Who's Cell is this!" I held it up and asked Kagura.

"It's your new one." Kagura said as she shoved more pizza into her mouth

"New one? I never had one! Also, don't forget to chew!" I exclaimed as Kagura stuffed her mouth.

Shinpachi facepalmed and said "Remember, Sadaharu ate your last one." All Sadaharu did was smile.

**Kanra: Did you hear?**

**Kanra: About that Gin guy that owns the Odd jobs place?**

**Kanra: He's supposedly gone crazy.**

**Setton: Really?**

**Kanra: Yeah.**

**Joker: Him? Wow.**

A man looked at his computer screen. 'Hmm... so the odd jobs guy has gone crazy. I'll have go look up on that.' He thought.

**TarouTanaka: I saw him earlier today.**

**TarouTanaka: He was watching a soap opera for some reason.**

**Kanra: Are you stalking him?**

**TarouTanaka: No! **

**Setton: Well...**

**Setton: I been hearing about some people being attacked lately.**

**Joker: By the slasher? Yeah, I've heard of it.**

**Joker: He's a deadly one for sure.**

**Kanra: I don't think it's a him.**

**Setton: He's a girl?**

**Kanra: Maybe.**

**TarouTanka: Sorry, I'm leaving.**

**~TarouTanaka has left the chat~**

**Joke: I need to go too.**

**~Joke has left the chat~**

**Setton: I'm busy now too.**

**~Setton has left the chat~**

**Kanra: I'm the only one left.**

**Kanra: I feel so lonely.**

**Kanra: Forever alone!**

**~Saika has entered the chat~**

**Kanra: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**...**

**Micaityl: Has Gin really gone crazy? Who is Joker? (Hint: It's not Gin, Gin doesn't know how to work a computer-yet.) And will Kagura remember to chew her food?**

**Next Episode: The one thing Gin actually forgot!**


	3. What did Gin forget?

**The thing That Gin Actally Forgot!**

Someone was knocking at the door. So I andswered it. Otase (the landlady) was there. She yelled "YOU FORGOT YOUR RENT!" I repiled "What rent?"

"The rent for this month."

"I'll get it soon. Plus, where's Catherine?"

"She's still in jail."

"No. She was released. "

"Liar! You're messing with me!"

"No., I'm not."

She slammed the door on my foot. It was stuck. "OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Great, Kagura and Shinpachi are at school while I'm stuck. Then Sadaharu walked to me. "Noo! Get back! Please!" He kept coming at me. Then the door opened. I saw Hijikata, Kondou, and Okita. But they were wearing blue uniforms with guns, pepper spray, and more gadgets, along with a 'police' badge.

I said "Hello...?"

Hijikata said "I heard that you've gone crazy."

"I'm not crazy! Anyways, why are you guys wearing police uniforms? Aren't you guys in the Shinsengumi?"

"What the heck is the Shinsengumi?" Hijikata exclaimed. "Kondou keeps on talking about it too."

I thought 'Wait. The other person who remembered Edo was- THE GORRILA?"

Okita said "You both have gone crazy."

Hijikata said "Let's go home." They all left. But the door caught my foot. "Crap."

Hijikata thought while walking back home alone at night. 'Hmm. Work is over. Kanra was right about Gin going crazy.' Then a dark shadow pulled out a knife. He looked at it, and pulled out his gun. (The cops use guns.) Hijikata shot at it.

That morning Gin was watching the News on a flat screen Kagura bought. The News lady said "Breaking news! A new slasher attack!"

I sighed "Another attack. Isn't there any good news?"

"Tonight's attack was on the vice chief of the police in West gate park!" I dropped the remote. 'No way. Hijikata-

**Was attacked by the Slasher!'**

_Chatroom:_

**Kanra: Did you hear?**

**Kanra: That the vice chief of West Gate park police was attacked by the slasher?**

**Setton: What!**

**Taroutanaka: Who'll be his substitute?**

**Kanra: This guy named Sogo or something.**

**Kanra: There's a rumor that he is in the Dollars.**

**Setton: What?**

**Setton: He's the substitute of the vice chief?**

**Kanra: No one knows.**

**~Saika has joined the chat~**

**Kanra: IT'S HEEEERRRREEEE!**

**Taroutanaka: Huh?**

**Saika: Cut**

**Saika: Love.**

**Setton: Cut who?**

**Saika: Hijikata.**

**Kanra: The vice chief?**

**Saika: Possesion.**

**Taroutanaka: What is with the creepy stuff!**

**Saika: Cut.**

**Saika: Cut.**

**Micaityl: Wow, of course he forgot his rent. Just how badly injured did Hijikata get? Is Okita in the Dollars? And, what will Gin do when he gets a strange text on his phone? **

**Next Episode: The Dollars? Is that a sports team or something?**


	4. The Dollars a sports team?

**The Dollars? Is that a sports team**

I looked at the screen in disgust. "Why would Hijikata ruin his gaurd." Shinpachi and Kagura were eating breastfast. Shinpachi said "So who's Hijikata. A friend of yours."

"Yes!"

Then after they left a man with a black shirt and jeans with a escimo jacket came in. I asked him "What do you want."

"My name is Izaya Orihara."

"So."

"I came here to ask you questions."

"Go ahead."

"Are you going after the Slasher?"

"Maybe. He did attack my friend."

"Hyph. Just saying the slasher may get to a person near to you again."

I gasped. I might know who's next.

Izaya then said "Well. I need to go. Shizu-Chan was nearby when I walked here."

Then a mail box came through my window. "WHAT THE HE-" I was cutted off by the man in a bartender get-up. He said "Izzzzaayaa."

"So Shizu-Chan you are here."

Izaya got out and Shizu went after him. Then a man in a law suit get-up came in and said "Sorry about that. My name is Tom Tanaka. And that was Shizuo who barged in here. Uh. Here's my credit card." He gave his card to me and ran off. "Why would he give me a credit card?"

Then a text went on my phone.

**Do you want to be in the Dollars?**

**Go to **** .com****. **

**Youruser name will be OKY7. The password is**

**BACCANO.**

"What is this?" So then I got a the computer and went to the site. It was a strange website. I thought it was a joke. So then I typed the password :**Baccano**

It pulled up a thing that said username I so typed **OKY7. **Then I was on the site. Right when I started reading this thing on there Kagura was back. Kagura asked "What'cha doin?"

"Uhh, nothing."

Shinpachi came in. "What website are you on?" Then he looked. He screamed " HOLY CRAP! WHY DID YOU GET ON THE DOLLARS WEBSITE!"

"I got an text to join, and I didn't want to turn it down."

"YOU IDIOT YOU JOINED AN COLOR GANG!"

"What is a color gang?"

"Like gangsters in a group."

"This is just a webchat."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Look."

Shinpachi looked. Then I pushed his head in there. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!" Then his whole body went through. "How did that happen?"

I was a street. Maybe I overreacted went I recalled joining the Dollars. Then I saw that Mikado kid talked to some woman in a lab coat. "I shouldn't interfere. I bet he's trying to pick her up and take her to an date." Then the girl rose her hand up. But the boy pressed a button on his cell. Then a lot of people's phones rang.

_RING! RING!_

My phone rang too. I looked at the text. But ingored it. Then I saw the sexy woman on the motor cycle go down a building. When she landed on the ground some men tryed whacking her with poles. So I ran in and whacked a guy.

"You can't attack a lady like that!"

Then a man with a bat hitted my head. I fell down. Motionless. On the ground. I'm for the dead. Sorry,

Shinpachi

Kagura

Hijikata

and Kondou.

I didn't get us out in time.

**Next Chapter: I'm awake in the woman's house!?**


	5. Awake in a headless person's house

**I'm awake, In the woman's house!?**

I woke up. I was in this apartment. I saw the sexy woman without her helmet on she had no head. I yelled "What the hel-"

She typed: **Are you Okay?**

"Where is your head!"

**I have no head. **

"You don't!?"

I thought she was a ghost.

**This is not a dream. My partner will be back soon. Just stay here.**

I was going to ask her about her partner but I got a text. The text said

**Love. Love. Cut Shinpachi. In hour.**

I gasped while looking at the text. I said "M'am I need to go. My friend is about to get cut by a creep. I work at the odd jobs place. I'm Gintoki the owner. Bye!"

I ran off. The headless rider just crossed her arms, and she would of shook her head if she had one. She thought "He still has a metal pipe wound."

Gin (I) ran down the road. Shinpachi. Shinpachi. I will save you! I ran down the road speeding like a mad man. I was screaming. A police man tried to stop me. I yelled "Sorry! A friend is about to die!"

I don't know if he ran after me but I kept running. i got to the Odd shops. I opened the door yelling "Are you okay Shinpachi!"  
Kagura looked at me like I was insane. Shinpachi wasn't home. I shoated at Kagura "Where is Shinpachi!"

She said "Went to the CD store." I ran out of the house and was stopped by Kondou on a motorcycle. I yelled at him "Go away! Shinpachi is gonna get killed!" Kondou said "I know. Hop in."

I got on and he drove. I asked him "Why are you helping me?"

"I got the same text. It talked about people who are near to me will be slashed."

"Creepy. Dam!"

"Hey, are you cursing?"

"There's a dam over there!"

"Oh yeah that's the Ikebukuro Dam."

We got to a alley where we a person with a knife run out. It had red eyes. I tried jumping on it but I crashed through a store window and cutted my head. I got up. The thing was gone. Kondou said "Shinpachi is in the alley!"

I ran into the alley to see that Shinpachi was slashed on the stomach. He was on his back on the cold hard ground.

"Ah. Ah." He said. I ran to him. I yelled "Get up! Go to a hosiptal! I won't allow you to go to hell in this universe!"

Shinpachi passed out. Kondou called a ambulance.

The next day...

I tried finding Shinpachi's hospital room. He lived, but was severly hurt. The doctor confirmed that he was going to be released in a week. I come to think that Hijikata would get released today. I saw Hijikata in the hallway. I said "Hey!"

He said "Hello. Why are you here. For me?"

"No Shinpachi got slashed."

"Crap. I gonna leave."

Hijikata walked away from me. I walked in a room where I thought Shinpachi was in,but i saw a grayish brownish haired girl. She looked at me. She said "Izaya told me about you. Come in fix it man."

How does she know me?! Izaya told her? Why does she need me? Why I'm I not in Edo. Edo was less dangerous and didn't have people cutting each other or dams!

**Next chapter: Lovers who runaway should be lectured by old men, or middle aged men.**


	6. Gin's lecture to Masaomi

**6: Lovers who runaway should be lectured by old men or middle aged men**

"Hello fix it man. I got a job for you."

I looked at the girl. Then I thought 'Who is Izaya Orihara. How in the hell does she know my name?'

The girl said "My name is Saki."

"Weird name."

"Well I got a job for you."

"What is it?"

"My ex Masaomi Kida dosen't visit me anymore because he's afraid. Last year a gang beated me up,and I can't walk."

"Who was the gang. I'll beat their butts for Masaomi."

"No no. A guy name Kyohei Kadota took care of them. His friend Walker Yumasaki saved me,and caught the jerks on fire."

"Violent. So where does Masaomi hang out?"

"I really don't know. I believe he's goes to high school now. I did see him once walk by here once with some friends. One held an umbrella."

"I think I know who's the girl with an umbrella is. She works at the odd jobs place."

"I heard that Shinpachi gotten hurt. The Kagura girl now has more work to do."

"No doubt."

I then walked out of the room,and walked out of the hosital. I thought to myself 'How does she know all of my co-workers.' Then I saw a yellow haired kid walk in front of the hosital. Then walked away. I knew he had to be Masaomi so I ran up to him.

Masaomi asked me "Who are you?"

"Can I have a chat with you."

"Sure."

"I have I one question."

"Shoot on."

"Why do you run from her?"

"What are you talking about old man."

"I'm not old. Why do you run from Saki?"

"How do you know about that you old creep!"

"I not old. I accidentally ran in Saki's room and she told me about you. You should not run! You should go to her!"

"I just can't."

"Stop acting emo and get on your feet! Look a man in his twentys get love problems all the time because we never had any girls! But you should go for it!"

"I told you I can't!"

The bystander watched. I then, walked up to Masaomi,and held him up by his shirt collar.

"Look Kida! Just pretend there's a man and a ham! The man really wants the ham! Once he gets it he never lets go! Just pretend you're the man,and Saki is that fricking ham! And don't care about the stupid color gangs that beated her up! Stand up,and go to her! Have her stand up again!"

I letted Masaomi down. He said "Can I have your phone number."

For some reason I gave him it. Masaomi said "I'll go see Saki!"

Masaomi ran in the hospital. I yelled "Make her stand! Make her stand!"

The bystanders yelled "Make her stand Make her stand!" I smiled. Elsewhere Izaya Orihara texted to someone: **Stand up.**

I walked down the street. Then I saw a man in a bartender suit. I didn't mind him until I accidentally bumped into him. I remember him now. He was the guy who threw me.

He said "ah. You're the fix it man."

The guy reconized me because of my cards fell on the ground. He said "I heard about your little stand up to the kid."

"Yeah."

I got a text from Masaomi.

**She stood! Saki stood up!**

"Oh hell yeah! She stood!"

The guy named Shizuo said "Good job. If you could do that you might help me out."

"Like what?"

"You see this guy who has alot of dept needs a lesson. I am sick so can you be my substitute."

"Okay."

That night...

Me,and this guy named Tom walked out of the guys house. Tom said "You had to use a wooden sword?"

"Yeah. I'm just a sub right?"

"Please Shizuo, get better."

**Next chapter: A Russia Sushi chef,and a middle aged samurai becoming friends... Not creepy at all?**


	7. Russia Sushi and Baseball?

**A Sushi chef and a samurai becoming friends? That's not scary at all.**

Hijikata walked in the police office and said "I'm back."

"Aww. You didn't die." Okita said calmly.

"Will you shut the he-"

Kondou said "There's no need to curse."

"Am I going to work tomorrow?"

"You're on break until further notice."

"What! You going to let Okita protect the streets of this crap hole!?"

"He did in Edo."

"There you go with the Edo crap!"

Elsewhere...

"Russia Sushi. Eat Russia Sushi."

I saw a black sushi chef handing out flyers. Weird. This never happend in Edo. The guy said "You want sushi?"

I said "How much is it?"

"Cheap."

"Hmm."

Then on the corner of my eyes I saw some guys wearing Yellow beating up a middle school kid. The kid had blonde hair,but wasn't Masaomi. The sushi chef started to walk over to them.

I said "Wait. I can get you customers with a "baseball game."

The guy smiled and brought out a humungous basket and stood right in front of the Russia Sushi place. I walked up to the guys. One asked "Who the hell are you?"

"Gin the odd job man. Your ticket to Russia."

I punched one and he flew right into Simon's basket. Simon said "1 custormer."

Kyohei Kadota, Walker Yumasaki, Erika Kawasawa, and Saburo Togusa were walking to Russia sushi when they saw the "Ball Game." Simon said "3 custormer."

Kyohei said "What the-"

Erika yelled "A living anime scene!"

Walker yelled "Right in front of our eyes!"

"HEAVEN!"

"But wait Walker dosen't the white haired man look similar."

"He does. He's ethier a cosplayer or he got trapped in this dimension."

I finshed the creeps up and looked at the kid. I asked him "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I was only hit by a wooden sword."

"Okay stand up and go home."

"Wait. Are you in with the Dollars?"

"Yes."

I was at home when I looked at the wooden sword. "This looks like mine." Wait. They might've stole the sword when I was on the ground.

**Kanra: Guys the guy named Gin is local celeberty.**

**Kanra: He fixed young love,and saved a kid who was beaten up.**

**Setton: Wow.**

**Joker was entered the chat**

**Kanra: Welcome back.**

**Joker: **** slasher.**

**Joker: What's up with the censore.**

**Kanra: This chat has a censore for cusre words. **

**Joker: **** **

Kagura walked in the place. She said "Gin! This is trouble!"

"What is it?"

"At Raika acdemy there's going to be scheduled bathroom times because of some people putting graffiti on the walls!"

"That's sinister! The bathroom is the place where you use it when you need to! Not scheduled! Now! I need to be a substitute teacher!"

"My teacher is out til next week."  
"Good!"

**Oh crap. How will next chapter turn out? Will Gin figure it out in as week? Who's that mysterious girl Masaomi brought to school? Will Gin get his own bathroom time? How will the toilet reply?! Next time: The week of John, Hell,and Time part 1. **


End file.
